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07 June 2010

The shocking truth: 95% of all pro cyclists are cyborgs. Jan Ullrich was one too.

Once one is starting to dig in the right place, all kind of muck is turning up. Lately we have learned that Tom Boonen (the right one, not the identical clone who rides under the name TOM in Japan) is possibly a cyborg.
A new method, developed by the MIT which consists of subjecting standard digital photos to additional x-rays has now revealed that the inner body structure of many pro cyclists give reason to suspect bio-mechanical enhancement.

Take the example of the below photo of Jan Ullrich, which was taken at the 2004 Athen Olympics.After x-raying the image and peeling off layers of body flesh, one can see a quite different Jan.
This would also explain, why Jan Ullrich refuses to aknowledge that he was doped. A cyborg is never doped. A cyborg is only fine tuned and serviced.
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1 comment:

  1. mob07 June, 2010

    By the way, I thought the Cancellara story was nothing but a (technical) joke, but there is indeed a product in the market which can be insterted into the frame just as described: The Gruber Assist.

    http://www.gruberassist.com/category/englisch/

    If you check YouTube you will find some videos showing GA equipped bikes in action.

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