29 January 2010

Positivo Espresso Team Rules, Draft #1



1. Orange (or other brightly colored) kit is strongly encouraged, but under no circumstances should a member feel obliged to wear the Dutch national kit.
2. Training = Ride lots.
3. Gym (or any indoor) training should be done "on the quiet."
4. White bibshorts not encouraged.  Too homoerotic.
5. No beards, except during December through February, or while recovering from (1) an accident, (2) loss of a U.S. Presidential election (must have been candidate of a major party in the general election -- primaries do not count), or (3) white collar criminal indictment.
6. If male teammate insists on wearing a necklace or chain of any type, must be kept hidden.
7. Official recovery drink is beer, especially for returns to Tokyo via train.
8. No sleeveless jerseys (a.k.a. "wife beaters").  Exception for Jerome only in July/August.
9. No "short shorts."  Exception for Jerome only, March to October.
10.  No discussion of mountain bikes except to compare unfavorably to road bikes.  (The "keep James quiet" rule).
11. Tradition requires at least one futile diversion per ride with Michael K.  Permitted examples:  (1) Mitake-san cable car entrance, (2) Nenogongen hilltop temple, (3) Shiroyama Dam, (4) Rte 76 spur South of Doshimichi, or (5) Matsuhime bypass tunnel (only prior to road completion).
12. No copying the "Eurocyclist" rules.
13. At least one JCRC Champion each year -- D Class or better.
14. Aurore Bakery, Oume.
15. Members are encouraged to take team kit -- at least jersey -- on overseas trips for photo opportunities in exotic locations.
16. Shin-nen-kai -- Restaurant Davis, Takanawa.
17. Recruit women riders, please!
18. No mention of rides less than 100 km, unless (1) race warm-up, (2) post-race warm-down, (3) time trial, or (3) involves climbing more than 2000 meters elevation.
19. For morning departures as a "train" of riders heads out of Tokyo - Ebisu, Futako, Sekidobashi, etc., no more than 5 minute wait.
20. Convenience store policy -- Seven Eleven only.  (Exceptions to come).
21. Never buy anything from the witch of Wada Pass.
22. Please eat at kind Mrs. Watanabe's countryside establishment.  Examples -- the cafeteria at Okutama-ko (add link), the ramen shop just over the west side of Otarumi, past Takao, the Manjyu-shop on Rte. 35 SW from Uenohara, (others).
23.  Assos, Rapha and F2P?
24.  When discussing Positivo Espresso, always refer to the "B" team.  There is no "A" team.  We also have a "C" team.

4 comments:

Laurent said...

Rule no.1? Who turned this website red?

Jimmy Shinagawa said...

I've added video.. enjoy!

James said...

bloody brilliant

David L. said...

The end of February nears, and I could raise my right arm almost straight up in the air today, so I will need to take action to comply with Rule 5. over the weekend.