History of the Bicycle

"The bicycle was named after its inventor, Robert Bicycle, a Dutch man who, dissatisfied with having to walk to the cheese shop, created the first two wheeled human-powered vehicle in 1972. Due to the non-existent petroleum requirements that the bicycle presented, its use quickly become popular with social workers and crystal healers and within just a few years, the smell of patchouli oil became inescapable even within the comfort of one's car on the freeway. Although primarily regarded as a woman's hobby, bicycle riding has since gained popularity not only amongst the homosexual male community but also people who enjoy wearing Spandex® of all persuasions."

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"I am often asked why my Spandex® bicycle riding costume features eight hundred and thirty corporate sponsorship logos even though I do not actually have a sponsor. The reason for this is simple. For every thirty male bicycle riders there is one female bicycle rider and, as in nature where the most adorned peacock gets the peahen, the male bicycle rider with the most brightly coloured Spandex® and most corporate sponsorship logos gets to mate with her."

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